Babysitting
by Yazzy
Summary: Kai and Rei get stuck looking after Mao's baby. Oneshot, KaiRei.


Back at college now, and I'm rather busy. I wrote this a few days ago but never got time to post it, but I managed to lay my hands on the PC today so here it is:

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Kai loved Saturdays. No work. No being pestered by annoying secretaries. No board meetings. Just blissful peace, and the chance to spend time with Rei.

He sighed happily, stretching out on the sofa and scratching his cheek. Rei had nipped out for some milk, but he would be back before long and then Kai could spend the afternoon snuggling him, and maybe later on-

The harsh ringing of the phone shattered the peace and Kai sat up, glowering. He could ignore it. But..

"Hello?"

"Kai? Takao's had an accident on the motorway. Mao needs to get to the hospital so I'm going over to get Ella, I said we'd mind her for tonight..."

"What?"

"Gotta go!"

The line went dead, and Kai sighed again. He dropped the phone back onto its cradle and flopped back down on the sofa. Takao was so accident-prone. It wasn't so long ago that he'd broken his leg falling down the stairs, and he always seemed to be sporting some kind of cut or bruise. Let alone that time when he sawed off the end of his finger when he was making shelves...

Kai only hoped that, like all the other times, he would come out okay. After all, what would Mao do if she had to get by on her own with a baby? Well...baby? Toddler? Kai wasn't sure where one classification ended and the other began, but Ella was small, he knew that.

It suddenly sunk in that he was going to be getting a night full of Ella.

She wasn't a particularly -bad- baby. She was just...a baby. That was bad enough, in Kai's opinion. If you couldn't reason with it, he didn't want to know. And Ella couldn't even talk, let alone be negotiated with or bribed. She just cried a lot. And wet herself. And tried to eat whatever was in her near vicinity.

Kai got up, starting to move anything valuable onto the dresser. He didn't want Ella eating his phone charger or candles. Or his bongos. And surely Rei wouldn't want him to leave his silk slippers in the path of a toothy, drooly baby?

He was just moving the last of his playstation games when the door crashed open. "Kai? Can you give me a hand?" Warily, Kai ventured out into the hall. "Watch Ella a sec while I get her stuff out of the car..." And Rei turned, his braid snapping out behind him. Kai shifted uneasily and peered down into the pushchair.

A pair of grey eyes peered back at him, and then-

"Don't cry...Ella, please..." Kai would never know why, but the sight of him was usually enough to make most babies start bawling. Ella had done it to him the last time he'd seen her as well. She seemed to have grown, but she was so busy kicking about and wailing that it was rather hard to tell. "Please? Come on...I'm not a psycho...uh...booja-booja?" He crouched beside the pushchair and pulled what he hoped was a funny face.

Ella started wailing at full, ear-splitting volume.

"Um...whoosa itsy-bitsy den?" The wailing continued. Kai couldn't understand it. When -Mao- said things like that to Ella, she laughed! "Ella, -please-!"

"She's a baby, she doesn't understand you."

"Well."

"Here." Kai's arms were suddenly full of a bag of nappies. "And take her bag of toys through as well..."

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"Does Ella want a drink? Drink?" Kai watched sceptically as Rei waved Ella's bottle at her, joggling her on his knee.

"You said she couldn't understand."

"Well. She can't. Ella? Bottle? Ella want drink?"

Ella turned her face away, looking unimpressed. Kai felt unimpressed as well. All she'd had done since she'd arrived was cry, scream, dribble on herself and mash snot into her hair. "She obviously doesn't want it. Put her on the rug and let her play, or whatever."

"Ella go down now? Down on the floor?" Rei continued with his terrible baby-voice and tried to put Ella down.

At which point she started having another screaming fit. Kai, exasperated, slid off the sofa and leaned over her. "What's the -matter-? Are you hungry? Does your nappy need changing?"

"I think she's just missing her mum..."

"Well what are -we- supposed to do about that?"

"There's nothing we -can- do, but she doesn't know that, she's only a baby!"

"Doesn't she have a dummy or something? I can't stand this racket!"

Rei fumbled in the toy bag, and came up with a teddy. "Ella? Here's a bear, Ella, look! Nice Mr. Bear!" Kai closed his eyes as Ella kept screeching.

"Give it here." He snatched the bear and put it in Ella's lap. "There. Bear. Play with the bear."

It worked- to an extent. Ella did stop crying. She even held the bear. Momentarily. Then she threw it into the fireplace and started crying again. "Oh for God's SAKE!" Kai snapped. "You know about babies, what does she want?"

"How am I supposed to know about babies?"

"Why did you offer to look after her if you don't know anything about babies?"

"No-one else could and Mao had to go!"

Kai stopped suddenly. No crying noises...

Something poked his arm, and to his surprise he found Ella had crawled up beside him. "What?"

Ella flapped a bit, and Kai looked questioningly at Rei. "I think she wants you to pick her up."

"...How do you pick a baby up?"

Rei explained- vaguely- and somehow Kai managed to get Ella onto his knee. Where she promptly cuddled up to him and fell asleep. "Maybe she was just tired-?"

"Do babies scream when they're tired?" Kai asked, perplexed. Babies. What irrational little creatures...

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"Ob-bo-bo!"

"What?" Kai looked for Rei for some kind of translation, but the neko-jin was gone, out in the kitchen making them all a snack. "Um...teddy?"

"Ba!"

"Ba-ba. Yes. Here. Dolly." Kai handed Ella her very chewed ragdoll. Which she promptly threw at him.

"Ba!"

"What's a ba? Come here..." Still rather awkwardly, Kai picked her up and sat her on his knee. "Where's the ba? Can you point at it?"

"BA!" Ella hit his leg. Rather forcefully, for a...one and a third? One and a half? One and something year old baby.

"What ba?"

"Ba! BA!" She hit him again.

"Are you saying -I'm- a ba?" He pointed to himself. "Ba?"

"BA!"

"I'm not a ba. I'm Kai. Can you say Kai?"

"Ba!" Ella giggled and wriggled off his knee, crawling away at quite a pace.

"Hey...no...don't go in the kitchen...Ella-"

"Ella, come on. Come here."

Rei appeared at the door of the kitchen and scooped Ella up, balancing her on one hip. "Where's Ella going, hmm?" Kai smiled.

Rei looked so...natural, standing there holding a baby so easily.

"You suit a baby."

"She's not an accessory, Kai." Rei rolled his eyes and shifted Ella to his other hip.

"Have you ever...you know. Wanted kids?"

Rei shrugged, looking down at the wet patch Ella was dribbling into his shirt. "Not really. I've never been particularly fond of the idea of being...tied down by a baby. What about you?"

"I suppose...it'd be nice to think I had an heir. Someone to leave everything to. I've never really thought about it that much..."

They fell silent, thoughtful, and Ella chose that moment to start fussing, pushing at Rei and grizzling. "What? What's the matter?"

"Ba! Ba-ba-ba!"

"Ba?"

"I think she wants you to put her down..."

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When Kai had successfully distracted Ella with an old cushion, Rei consented to be dragged out of the kitchen and onto the sofa. Kai was still determined to get some snuggling done before his Saturday was over. He'd just gotten Rei to relax and stop worrying about Takao when something hit his arm.

The -ragdoll- hit his arm.

"Ella? Are you throwing things at me?"

"Ba!" Kai raised his eyes from Rei's to see Ella sitting grinning at him. When she noticed him looking she giggled and covered her face, looking...dared he say it? Cute. "Where's that cushion, Ella?" Ella laughed at him, and Kai found himself unable to stop a smile spreading across his face.

"She's a handful..." Rei said, shaking his head. "I don't know how Mao manages..."

"Superwoman." Kai suggested.

"Well, she has Takao as well. He helps out a lot. He's good with kids."

"Because he's so childish himself." Kai snorted. "Ella, can you say Dad? Dad-Dad?"

"Daaaii?"

That was probably as close as she could get, Kai mused. "Dad's gone to see a doctor. Hasn't he?"

"Ba?" Ella crawled closer, reaching up and tugging at him.

"What?" Ella kept tugging at him, looking unhappy. "Ella?"

"She wants more attention. Babies always do." Rei picked Ella up and shifted, plonking her down between the two of them and sighing. "I'm really worried about Mao. She just...she was devastated...I mean...if Takao's...OW!" Rei shot to his feet, tripping over the ragdoll and landing in a heap on the floor, yelling.

"...Rei? Are you okay? What happened?"

"Obo!"

"My hair..."

Kai noticed, belatedly, the few shining black hairs grasped in Ella's chubby little hand. "Ella...don't pull Rei's hair..."

"She doesn't understand you." Rei got gingerly to his feet, rubbing his arm. "I'll go and get her a bottle...maybe if she has a drink she'll fall asleep again..."

Rei disappeared into the kitchen again, leaving Kai, quite literally, holding the baby. Seeing as Ella had decided he would make a good seat and had crawled onto his lap. "Hey, Ella. What's this bear, ah? Bear?" A quick stoop left him holding the bear (who was minus an ear, probably due to Ella's insatiable teeth). Ella didn't seem to want to know. She was more concerned with pointing at him. "What? What is it?"

"Ba!"

"Are you pointing at my hair?"

"Ba! Ba!" Ella's pudgy fist closed around his bracelet, yanking.

"No, Ella, no..." Kai hastily removed the bracelet, putting it on the windowsill for safekeeping. Rei had bought him it for his birthday, he didn't want to end up with it broken. "Ella want a bear? Nice bear..." Nope. Ella wanted his ear- which she tugged rather sharply, making Kai bite back a stream of curses. "No, Ella. Be nice."

"Ba."

"Ba. Yes. Come on. Dolly." Kai waved the ragdoll half-heartedly, knowing somehow that Ella wouldn't be bothered by it. Which she wasn't. Dolly ended up sailing through the air, almost but not quite managing to trip Rei up as he came out of the kitchen with a bottle. "Here, Ella. Have a drink."

Kai watched as Ella attacked the bottle, drinking as if she hadn't seen one in days. "Nice?" Kai took the non-reply as a yes, letting Ella settle herself against his chest as she drank.

"Ba." Kai felt his heartstrings tug as Ella yawned, leaning against him.

"Ella go to sleep now?"

"Nnmm..."

Kai smiled down at her as she snoozed, drooling on him just a little.

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Ella was still asleep an hour later when the doorbell rang. Rei went to open it, because Kai hadn't found it in him to move Ella and risk waking her up. He was just patting her back when Mao appeared in the doorway, looking flustered but relieved. "He's fine. He'll be out tomorrow, they're just keeping him in tonight for observation...how's Ella been?"

"Lovely-"

"Lively-"

Kai and Rei spoke together. Then looked at each other, smiling. "She took a liking to Kai."

"Really?" Mao sounded shocked.

"Really."

"I always thought you'd be better with kids, Rei..."

"Nope. Kai's a natural."

Mao smiled, tucking her hair behind her ears and reaching down for Ella, heaving her into her arms. She didn't wake up- just shifted a bit and snuffled. "If you ever need a babysitter..." Kai offered, standing up.

"I'll bear you in mind. Thanks for looking after her, you two, I mean...when the police phoned and said Takao'd been in a crash I just..."

"So long as he's okay..."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just waiting for his next escapade now..."

"Just don't take him on that skiing holiday he's been talking about."

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Much later that night, when Kai and Rei were finally in bed, Kai snuggled up to Rei and smiled. "You don't mind that I said we'd babysit for them, do you?"

"No..."

"But?"

"But what?"

"You sounded like you wanted to say something else."

"Hmm."

Kai hugged Rei closer, worried. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing, just...next time, Kai, -you- can change her nappies."

Fin

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R&R please!


End file.
